A friend broke my heart.

Friends break up. It’s not exclusive to people in a relationship, also for those who share and celebrate friendship with each other.

You broke my heart when you moved on with your life without me. Isn’t it possible that you bring me along? Isn’t it possible that in the new chapter of your life, with tougher challenges and greater experiences, an old friend could be in it as well?

All I know was that I planned to include you in mine.

I could remember the time when a lot of our friends turned against you. I kept to manage my friendship with them and with you alone. Even if later on you created your own new team excluding me. It would be very awkward every time our friends would talk about you during hangouts and night outs nevertheless I did defend you every fucking time. Telling them the good things about you. The good things I believed you have. The good things you had.

I don’t want to sound clingy, and you know me as a friend who is not truly clingy and too possessive. However, as a friend, I did not expect that when new friends arrive in your life, when personal and career growth kick in, when you met a great guy that makes you the happiest, I would be out of the picture. Out of the plans – hangouts, dinner, travel trips, Christmas party. You stopped commenting on my status, pictures; you even avoided replying to my chats, only if you need something. I didn’t foresee that eventually I would be part of your unseen section.

Seeing the real deal, realizing what’s really happening here, I feel like you stab me with a sharp knife of betrayal. The friendship I gave to you made me blind, too blind and too stupid that I did not learn early enough that perhaps somehow you’re not the only victim in this entire case. That you have done something wrong for people to see you that way.

I know that you knew how much I have done to save you, but I don’t think that you needed that saving after all. I keep on telling myself that maybe, just maybe, it’s not your fault, it is mine. You didn’t ask for anything  I’ve done. Defending you, choosing you. Maybe, just maybe, I had became the “bes”, like how we used to call each other, and really did a fucking great job portraying my role as one. However, our movie has ended and we had separated ways.

Having to experienced these things, I have came up with a choice of moving on with my life as well, without you this time. There are much more friends whom I should spend my time and love with. I want to thank you for making me realized that you are not worth it. Thank you for opening my eyes to see my other friends whom are much more valuable than you are. These friends are irreplaceable and they care about me way, way more than you do.

(Photo credit from amelieslittlesecrets.tumblr.com via Pinterest)

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